Shalnark's Second Guessing
by Lunamon810
Summary: What is Shalnark supposed to do when a little girl begs for his help? Leave her there? Kill her? He couldn't help her, could he? He was one of the bad guys, right? Rated T because something just didn't feel right about putting this in to anything lower.


**Hey guys, Lunamon810 here, for the second time today. I've written off and on on this one for probably a week or two now, and I thought I'd finished it last weekend, but the last scene you read kept coming into my mind and I ended up having to write it. Due to it I'm afraid some people might not like the story, but I'm sure it'll be fine. I've had people call me some stuff, call my story some stuff, and my ideas some stuff. Stuff I'm not gonna stay here. And that story/fanfiction ended up being fourty-four chapters long and finishing (And THAT document has expired within the last hour or two which is kind of depressing. xD) so uh... I think I've learned to just not listen to flammers and haters. xD**

**I really wanted to write with Shalnark, so uh, this happened. And don't worry (in case you see the age of the OC) this is not a ShalnarkXOC story. That story I haven't written yet. xD But I really liked this idea. It's supposed to take place during the YorkNew/Yorkshin (May not have spelt that right, sorry.) ark, is a little out of place but I think it's still alright. Anyways.**

**Disclaimer: I STILL DON'T OWN HUNTER X HUNTER.**

* * *

A little girl with about mid-back length chocolate brown pigtails took a few steps back, shaking. A man stood, pointing a gun at her. She was only about nine, she didn't understand what she'd done. She'd knocked something out of his hands, a box. She'd heard a shattering sound come from it, and then the man started yelling. She begged for forgiveness. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She lost count of how many times she said it. But still he pulled the gun out and aimed it at her. She shakily continued to say the words over and over, terrified.

Suddenly the man dropped dead. She stared, still shaking, not sure if he was really dead or not. "M-Mister?" She slowly walked over to him, bent down and shook him, but he didn't move in the slightest besides what she did. "M-Mister, are you alright?" Even though he'd pulled the gun on her, even though he wouldn't show mercy, even though she'd be dead if he hadn't become such, she was still worried about the man.

Someone put a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to see a boy a good seven years older then her with platinum blonde hair and green eyes. "I almost immediately broke him... Too bad..." He walked on and picked up the box, sitting it as it should be and opening it, then frowning. "Huh. You did break it." The girl's eyes widened as she took a step back, panicked. She was afraid she'd be in danger again, since he seemed to have an interest in whatever had been in the box. "Now, now. I'm not going to hurt you over it, it was just a copy. I was just hoping to resell it. But it's fine."

"S-Sorry mister... S-Sorry... S-Sorry..." Once again the girl found herself unable to stop apologizing, and the boy walked over to her and crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"I already said it was fine. So don't panic."

"B-But I broke it..."

"Like I said, it wasn't the real one, so it doesn't matter. We can just copy it again. But I would be more careful on the streets, kid. Where's your parents?" The girl looked around and bowed her head.

"I don't know. That's why I ran into him... I was looking for mommy and daddy..."

"Hmm... Well, good luck!" The boy grinned and walked away. She watched after him and whimpered, noticing it was getting dark. He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her, having heard her, and blinked. She turned away and started walking, hoping to find her parents. But the streets were packed, this was York New City after all. The boy sighed, knowing she probably wouldn't make it. There were too many bad people here. But he wasn't saving her, he was one of those people, and no good for him could come out of it. He looked away and continued walking.

* * *

The boy stood, hidden from view in the trees, controlling someone with his cat-like phone. Suddenly the guy stopped moving, and the boy frowned. "Aww, he's broken. Shame. Guess I'll have to find a new one." He stopped when he heard someone whimper in the tree next to the one he was sitting in. He looked over to see the little girl from a few days ago trying to hide in the branches. When she realized he was looking at her she whimpered and tried to hide more so, but failed. She jumped down, trying to run, but he was next to her in seconds. "Hello again."

"D-Don't hurt me mister! I didn't do anything! I promise! I've been good, I ate what mommy and daddy told me to! Or... No, I haven't... I still haven't found mommy and daddy... But I promise I'll do what I say when I find them!" The boy blinked, staring at her. She started crying, feeling desperation hit. Then gunshots went off, and she lurched forwards, hugging him tight. He blinked harder, staring at her. She was completely petrified, and she was clinging to him? A complete stranger?

"Hey... Cut it out..." He said, looking around to make sure none of the other members of the Phantom Troupe was watching. "You're gonna get me in trouble..." She kept a stubborn grip on him, afraid of the gunshots that continued to go off. He tried to shove her away, but she wasn't having it. Eventually he used the palms of his hands to cover her ears, not quite silencing but dampening the noise, and slowly pushed her back a few feet, his hands still over her ears.

"T-Twin... He... He was shot three years ago... I-I don't wanna be shot... It'll make mommy and daddy sad like it did with twin..."

"Twin...?" Shalnark said, having to take a second to realize she was talking about her twin. He blinked hard and slowly removed his hands from her ears, and she cringed, quickly covering her ears herself. He tried to sharpen the look in his eyes, trying to prepare to tell her that he couldn't protect her, but something about the desperation in the way she stood alone made it a lot harder. "Look kid- hey, listen to me!" She didn't acknowledge that he spoke at all, and he realized between her hands over her ears and the noise around them his voice was probably being drowned out.

"H-Help me find mommy and daddy mister... P-Please..." He tried to force a scowl on his face, but after a second gave up. He sighed and turned to walk away. "M-Mister!" He looked over his shoulder at her, the chaos around them being reflected in her eyes, glowing red, yellow, orange. Mostly explosions and gunshots. He sighed and shook his head, her hands partially away from her ears now. She had taken a step towards him, but had frozen.

"Look kid, I can't help you. You want your mommy and daddy to help keep you safe from the bad people, right? And they would want you to stay away from the bad people, right? You said you'd obey your parents. And you know they'd tell you to stay away from the bad people. So if you're going to obey, obey. Because I am the bad people. And also, stop calling me mister, I'm sixteen. It's weird. My name is Shalnark."

"W-What makes you say you're the bad people, S-Shalnark? You're not out there shooting anybody, are you?"

"No, but I am part of the group that is."

"But you yourself aren't, are you? And if you were the bad people, you would have killed me, Shalnark. So you're not the bad people. You're just around the bad people. If being around the people makes you the bad people, then I'm the bad people too, and so is mommy and daddy. Because we're around those people too right now, aren't we?"

"Y-You're crazy! I am the bad people! I killed that guy over there!" He said, pointing towards the carcass of the guy he'd killed right before hearing her. "I don't do 'guns'. I prefer my phone."

"Your phone? But... Phones don't kill people. Mommy and daddy have phones, and they've let me use one before-"

"It's not that simple! Argh! Listen, unless you want me to demonstrate to you that I'm one of them, leave me alone! I'm not going to help you, you're on your own!" He looked away and started walking away, much quicker this time. Now the girl looked over at the carcass more closely, and slowly took steps towards it. A scream escaped her lips, causing Shalnark to look over at her. "What!? Are you just now realizing I killed that guy!?"

"Daddy!" The girl called out, dropping to her knees, crying. "You killed daddy! You took my daddy! Give him back!" Shalnark blinked hard. For a second, he actually felt sorry. Why was she affecting him so much? "Please... Give him back..."

"I can't! And even if I could, I wouldn't! I told you, I'm one of them!" The girl looked at him and shook her head.

"N-No! Y-You took him, it's your job to take care of me! Until we find mommy!"

"I don't care what you think, I'm not taking care of you! And I don't know if it's occurred to you, but your 'mommy' is probably dead too!"

"N-No! Mommy has to be alive! I- Shalnark look out!" Shalnark looked to his right, opposite of where she was, to see someone with an axe in their hands, trying to chop his head off. He easily killed them, but got his arm slashed by the axe and fell to the ground. The girl ran to him. "Shalnark! Are you okay!?" She was quickly by his side, looking at his arm. "That looks painful..."

Shalnark sighed. "It's really not that bad compared to other wounds I've had. Now, kid-"

"Stop calling me kid. My name is Aurora."

"Fine then, Aurora. I can't take care of you. Even if I wanted to, the rest of my group would never let me. In fact, a lot of them would kill you upon seeing you. Probably even torture you." Tears came to Aurora's eyes, and she shook her head, grabbing his arm, careful not to touch or hurt his wound.

"Y-You can't leave me Shalnark! W-What if you're right, what if mommy is gone too!? Then I'm all alone!"

"Then either you'll find someone, or someone will find you. Someone who is supposed to take care of you, hopefully." A second later his phone rang, and he picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Shalnark. Where are you?"

"Uh, about a mile out from the city-"

"Good. Stay there, unless of course you want to get blown up." Machi responded. "Gotta go." He heard her hang up and sighed, pocketing his phone.

"LIke I was saying- Hey, wake up!" Shalnark said, realizing Aurora had fallen asleep hugging his arm. He tried to shake her off, but she just gripped his arm tighter in her sleep. He tried to figure out what to do, if he woke her up shoving her away she'd continue to persist on staying with him. If he didn't shake her off, he'd probably be found with her.

But what if he showed her to Chrollo, explained what happened, and asked if they could keep her around? Sometimes Chrollo was amused by such things, and he'd take an interest in her. They could see what type of nen she had and-

No. That was stupid. They'd probably torture and kill her, and he'd probably get his ass kicked over it. And he was bound to get grief from some of the other members, at least Hisoka, for caring about a stupid kid. He started slowly trying to peel her off his arm, but she clung to him like a baby would it's mother. He mentally scolded himself for making such a stupid comparison and continued trying to, but she wouldn't let go without him having to do something that would probably wake her up. Not that he couldn't easily leave her once she was awake, but something kept him from waking her up. He tried to tell himself he just didn't want to deal with her persisting.

A loud explosion went off, and she woke up with a scream. He automatically put his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, then realized it and immediately let go, once again mentally scolding himself. He stood up, knowing he could head back into town now, and started to do so. Aurora narrowed her eyes and ran after him, determined to keep up. He was fast, but wasn't going his fastest, being cautious of the corpses and the occasional bullet, but Aurora didn't seem to notice either of those.

Eventually she caught up and leaped onto his back, gripping on tight. He gritted his teeth and spun, slamming her into a brick wall. She dropped down, tears in her eyes as she looked up at him. "S-Shalnark-"

"No. Stop following me. I don't care who I killed or how it affects you. You don't matter to me. You could die for all I care! Don't you get that! Now leave me alone! Get lost, kick the bucket, I don't care! Just leave me alone!" Shalnark stomped off, and she looked in her lap. Her foot had got caught around his pocket and tossed his phone out on top of her when she fell. She grabbed it and ran after him, waiting to catch up with him before she tried calling him, knowing he wouldn't listen to reason now.

Shalnark made it to town square and was about to kill three guys who had guns pointed at him, when he realized he didn't have his phone. His eyes widened in panic as he searched his pockets, and quickly looked at the three guys again. He looked for a possible escape route, but saw none. "S-Shalnark!" He looked over his shoulder.

"Oh no not this again..." She dodged between two of the guys who were surrounding him and set the phone in his hand.

"You dropped this Shalnark..." She said, panting. He now realized her head was bleeding, along with the backs of her arms and little bit on the backs of her legs. The dark blue tank top and below-the-knee length pants hadn't done much for protecting her. He also couldn't tell if the blood on her feet was her own or not, because her sandles had gotten tossed off when he'd slammed her into the wall.

"Aurora..." He quickly used the phone to 'break' the three guys, then got down on his knees in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You need to go find an adult who can take care of you. You're not going to last long if you're bleeding. Someone will probably just put you out of your misery. You need to-"

"You help me Shalnark." She said, hugging him with the innocence only a child her age could possess. "Please?" Shalnark's mouth remained open from where he'd been speaking, unable to make any words to come out.

"Who's your friend, Shalnark?" Hisoka's voice said. "I didn't know you liked kids so much." He licked the blood off of one of his cards, smirking at the sight in front of him.

"I don't. She followed me. She's doing this on her own!" He said, shoving her away.

"Why didn't you just kill her then?"

"I don't know, it didn't seem worth the time. There's so much more I could do in the time it'd take."

"Should I do it for you then?" He asked, readying himself to throw a card. Fear flashed through Aurora's eyes, as she looked like she was going to run but froze in fear.

"No!" Shalnark said immediately, really wishing he hadn't. Hisoka smirked and replaced the card into his deck. He crossed his arms, looking between Aurora and Shalnark, obviously amused by the situation displayed in front of him.

"Sounds like you do care about what happens to her. She does have a bit of fire about her, I would hate to extinguish it. More fruit going unripe. It'd be such a waste, she could amount to something it seems. But if someone else in the Phantom Troupe were to find out we spared her life.. We'll be the ones to die, most likely."

"H-How would anyone else find out? It's not like anyone is going to go through and ask everyone who survives if someone spared them or not."

"No, but I guarantee someone's watching us right now."

"You're right. I am watching you. You can't let yourselves get so emotionally attached, especially so easily. I suggest you drop the matter, kill her, and move on." Menchi said, sitting on a bench behind all three of them. Aurora gulped and ran to Shalnark, hugging him tight.

"D-Don't let them hurt me Shalnark!" Shalnark managed to glare at her, and pushed her away.

"I never said I'd protect you, you're the one who followed me. Maybe if you'd given up-"

"Why don't we just let her go, Machi? Who knows, maybe one day when something happens to one of the members of the Phantom Troupe, she can take their place. She does seem to have the qualities a member would need, if those qualities are trained right." Hisoka said, looking over at Machi.

"She's too young to even worry about that right now. She's easily seven years younger than Shalnark, and he's our youngest member right now. I don't see the chances of her getting in being very likely, even if it is years from now. By then we'll be back to full numbers and it's highly unlikely we'll lose any more members, we rarely do."

Machi looked over at Aurora, who'd whimpered. She slowly started backing away from Shalnark and the other two, tears of terror in her eyes. She didn't understand why Machi wanted to get rid of her so badly. What had she ever done to deserve to die? Was it because she snuck an extra cookie last time her mom had baked some? Was it because she didn't clean up the milk she'd split and blamed it on her cousin? What had she done that was so bad to deserve that?

"Oh come on Machi, she's terrified. Just let her go." Shalnark said, sighing "I won't ask you to spare anyone else. Just let her go, and none of us will tell Chrollo this happened. Okay?"

"No, not okay-"

"Won't tell me what happened?" Chrollo's voice asked, making Shalnark jump, along with Aurora. The turned to see Chrollo behind Aurora, putting a hand on top of her head. "And who's this?"

'I-I-" Shalnark stuttered.

"Well, you see Chrollo, this kid's apparently been following Shalnark. And it seems he doesn't have the heart to kill her." Machi said, not ready to lie to Chrollo.

"Hmm... Don't have the heart to kill her?"

"I still think she could potentially become part of the Phantom Troupe one day." Hisoka said, looking over at Chrollo.

"Hmm. Maybe she could take Shalnark's place." Shalnark froze,and Aurora shook her head, jolting out from under Chrollo's hand and turning to look at him.

"N-No! Don't be mad at Shalnark! It's not his fault, it's mine! H-He told me to leave him alone, he told me you guys would kill me if I followed him! D-Don't punish him because of me!" Aurora said, her voice very shaky. "K-Kill me instead..."

"Aurora..." Shalnark said quietly, almost impossible to hear.

"Hmm... I'm not sure why he spared in the first place, but I also don't see a reason not to..." Chrollo said, before getting down in front of her, stroking her hair. "Calm down, dear. You'll be safe soon, and no one will be able to hurt you anymore. I promise, you won't feel much pain from this point forwards. No more gunshots, no more explosions." He put his hand on her cheek, smiling at her, and she slowly started to smile, but a moment later her eyes widened and she froze. Blood splattered from the back of her head, and he stood up and took a step back. She fell back, hitting against the ground, her lifeless eyes still wide open.

"Hey! What'd you do that for, she didn't deserve that! She didn't do anything wrong, and you deceived her!" Shalnark said, suddenly in cased by unexplained rage.

"No I didn't. Now she's safe, no one can hurt her, and it was a fairly quick death. No more gunshots, no more explosions. Would you like to continue this argument, Shalnark?" Shalnark was shaking with rage he still didn't understand, but sighed.

"No sir." Chrollo nodded, and disappeared. As did Machi and Hisoka, leaving Shalnark there in front of Aurora's dead body, fear in cased in her glassed-over eyes. Before he really knew what he was doing he picked her up, careful not to get her blood on him, and carried her to a patch of grass in between sidewalks, and laid her there. He picked a few flowers from around her and laid them on her, flowers still surrounding her. He turned and walked away without a word or noise.

He never figured out why he cared so much about her, why he couldn't kill her himself. She didn't do anything for him, yet he saved her life a few days ago. Then he realized, she'd been worried when his arm got slashed by an axe, she'd brought him his phone, and she'd begged Chrollo to punish her instead of him. She'd trusted him, and he'd just let her die. All she'd wanted was help, to survive this. To find her mom. But he didn't even try to help her do that. He just shoved her into a wall. And she'd still helped him, even after that.

He realized there were tears in his eyes. He wiped the tears away and went straight to toying with people, controlling them, eventually breaking them. But when he broke someone, something felt good about it. It was his way of releasing his fury towards Chrollo for deceiving her, his anger at himself for caring. And also for letting her die.

* * *

Shalnark stood up, everything around him pearly white. Not blinding, but bright. Something was comforting about the light, but something was eerie to him. How had he gotten here? Wasn't he just fighting with the other Spiders? A man stood before him, a look of slight disapproval displayed on his face. Shalnark slowly stood up. "Who are you?"

"You don't know who I am then? Funny, I know who you are. Shalnark." It occurred to Shalnark then where he was, and what had happened.

"A-Are you God?"

"I'm known by a lot of names, and that is indeed one of them. But that's not important right now. What is important, is where you will go. You've killed a lot of people in your sixteen years, Shalnark. And it seems you have no regrets about it. Don't you believe you deserve to be punished?"

"Y-Yes sir... I'm sorry sir..."

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

"I can't deny that I don't regret it... So I don't think there's much I can say to save myself."

"Hmm... Very well then. Well, I'll make you a deal. If there's anyone here willing to vouch for you, then you can stay. We'll ask every angel here. If no one comes, then you'll go to Hell." Shalnark nodded, nervous. The man sent several angels into the land inside the gates, and several long, agonizing minutes passed. Surely one of the spiders would vouch for him. Maybe at least Uvogin? Then he realized, they were probably in Hell. When he made that realization, he felt like he lost hope.

Suddenly, a little girl's voice filled his ears. "Shalnark!" Someone tackle-hugged him, but he held his ground. He blinked hard, and looked down to see Aurora, still looking the same as she had the day she died. Then again, that wasn't way too long ago. He felt her hug him tighter. "Welcome home, Shalnark."

"Home?"

""It seems this little girl is willing to vouch for you. Do you know this little girl, Shalnark?"

"Y-Yes sir... H-Her... Her name is Aurora."

"How do you know her?"

"W-Well, I saved her from a man with a gun in York New City. Then a few days later, when the Phantom Troupe was attacking York New, she started following me. I tried to shove her away, and I thought I had when she realized I'd killed her dad... But... She still followed. Even when I shoved her into a wall, she followed me, and saved my life by bringing me my phone, even though it made her run through glass barefoot... And the bricks from the wall I shoved her into made her bleed... Then... Chrollo came, and he killed her."

"Correct. So you do remember her then. Do you remember what you did when she met her fate?"

"I laid her on the grass with some flowers, and I went back to my job as a member of the Phantom Troupe."

"Indeed. But you know what makes that okay? You put her into the grass where she would have been happy, and you were angry at Chrollo for a while, despite the respect you have for him and his Phantom Troupe. And that is why, since you recall the event, you can stay here." Aurora cheered and hugged him tighter, having never of let go.

"Yay! Shalnark can stay! Now you can come meet twin, and mommy and daddy! I know daddy won't be mad, daddy would never be stay mad at somebody!" Aurora grinned up at Shalnark, then took his hand and started pulling. "Come on!"

Slowly Shalnark grinned and nodded. "Okay." He turned to look at the man and smiled. "Thank you sir."

"You are welcome." Aurora giggled happily and started running, still holding Shalnark's hand, and Shalnark grinned and followed her. He decided that here, he could be around Aurora. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, he never really had a problem with it. And here, he didn't have to worry about Chrollo finding out, or getting grief from the Phantom Troupe. Because he doubted any of them would ever make it. He was just glad he'd second guessed his decision to kill Aurora, and now he owed her.

* * *

**Alright guys, hope you enjoyed it. Just a note, the ending isn't supposed to reflect my own religious beliefs, however you want to take that is fine. I don't really state my religion, which is why I didn't give 'God' a set name, he could have been any 'God' really. xD But uh, yeah. So no offence taking or anything please? I'd never want to offend anyone. xD Alright well hope you enjoyed it, maybe I should write on something people have been waiting on now... Like Crest of Trust's sequel... Or The Digi Days... Or Cardcaptor Ouran... Or Hunter X Trust... Meh, maybe. See ya!**


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